The Case of the Ferocious Floating Fluff
Most folks, upon seeing a spidery houseguest, will immediately and unhesitatingly smash said arachnid. In our home, though, we have a "catch and release" system, 'cause we really don't cotton to the idea of killing a critter just 'cause it happened to get into our abode. (Only Exception: Roachy-type buggers. Sorry, God, I know all things are fearfully and wonderfully made 'n' all, but we draw the line at the roach-esque.)So, earlier this evening, Husband Mike noticed a spider on the wall, thus activating the Spider Relocation Protocol:
- Person who sees spider stares at it (little fellas seem to stay in place as long as they know you're watching 'em) and hollers at other person (Assistant) to fetch a glass and whatever index card sized piece o' paper happens to be on hand.
- Assistant delivers glass and paper to Spider Starer.
- Spider Starer places glass over spider, then slowly slides paper underneath glass in order to safely trap the spider inside.
- While #3 is in progress, Assistant heads over to the sliding balcony doors and a) pulls aside the blinds, b) unlocks and slides open door, and c) turns on balcony light (if it's dark out).
- Spider Starer, who is now the Spider Transporter, holds paper on top of glass and heads out onto the balcony. Once there, Spider Transporter gently shakes the spider out of the glass, then returns inside. Relocation Complete!
However, we had a bit of a snafu during Step 5 tonight. As Husband Mike was walking towards the balcony, he suddenly let out a gigumbous "AAAUUUGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!", leapt backwards, fell on his butt, and sent the Glass With Spider a-flyin' through the air. Which, of course, knocked the spider outta the glass and off who-knows-where.
What the bloody heck happened?!
Apparently, Husband Mike saw some sort of floating bit of fluff in the air Right In Front Of His Face, somehow thought the spider had gotten out of the glass (it hadn't), and immediately Freaked Out at thinking the spider was swinging at him.
So, now we have a seriously shaken-up spider on the lam somewhere. And Husband Mike has a slightly bruised toe. (Landed funny and somehow mashed it.)
Life's a thrill a minute 'round these here parts. :-P
posted by Lisa, ofs | Permalink 
5 Comments:
That's hilarious. Trust Lisa to land me on my butt laughing. You should write a musings of a crazy cat lady book.
That still has me wondering what the floating fluff was. :p
I can relate. Only, at my age, it isn't fluff I mistake for spiders, it's floaters. :-)
Mike Kuypers
Us, too -- not really sure what he saw! :-P
ROTFLMFO!!
Hope Mike is okay.
Angela
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