Hey, is he on fire? Or, How Franciscans Get Ready for Mass 

While it's amazing and awesome to be in your own Profession Mass, it's a Totally Different Experience when you're on the other side o' things; namely, making sure everything goes off without a hitch. Which is the situation I found myself in last night, a mere almost-2 years after my own Profession.

I'm currently serving on my local fraternity's council, and as the Minister (our Order's term for "president" or "superior") and I work closely together on everything, I participated in all the behind-the-scenes grunt work for this Mass, in which two of our Candidates (novices) were going to make their permanent Professions. One of my jobs was designing and printing up copies of the program -- involved emailing the thing around to the other council members for their input, verifying who was doing what, and verifying the music selections with the music ensemble. And then copying/folding/stuffing said programs; about 30 of 'em, which we naively thought (ha-ha!) would be enough.

Mass was at 7 p.m., so the Minister, myself, and the other council members figured we'd show up at 6:30 p.m. to set up/organize/etc. How involved could it be? We usually have Mass at our monthly gatherings, anyway.

I arrived at 6:25 p.m. and lo, nearly everyone else thought it'd be A Good Idea to show up way early, too. Which meant I was pinballing among guests and various secular brothers/sisters ("Oh, hello Sister C! Sogoodtoseeyou! GottaruncatchyouaftertheMass!") while trying to get everything ready.

Before the Mass

Why aren't the chapel lights on? Who has the keys for that?

Have you seen [concelebrating guest priest] Fr. J? He isn't here yet? Hey, who's the Dominican friar over there? Oh, he's a guest of Sister B. [one of the two about-to-be-Professed Candidates]. Wait, he's also concelebrating? Why didn't anyone tell us he was gonna be here?! He's not in the program!

What do you mean, Fr. J. isn't doing the Gospel reading? We were told he was -- he's listed in the program for that!

Is Brother D. [a deacon and our also fraternity's Formation Director] going to assist at the Mass or not? Well, can you let me know as soon as Fr. K. makes up his mind?

Has anyone put out the Gifts for Sisters S. & B. to bring up to the altar? No? Hey, Brother D., we need a table on which to put the Gifts. [Subsequent fruitless search for suitable table. Instead, lugged table, used for leaflets, from back of chapel up the aisle.]

Hi, Guest. Can you please move back a few pews? These are reserved for the Professed brothers and sisters. Thanks so very much!

OK, Sisters S. & B., you'll sit in the front pew so that you can easily come up to the altar when you make your Profession promises. What? No, don't worry, you'll be cued in on everything.

Sister M., you'll sit next to me, since you're serving as one of the Witnesses for the Order and the Church. Right over there, near the front. See? On the side aisle. Yes, you'll be cued when you have to go up, don't worry.

What do you mean, Brother D. can't serve as the other Witness for the Order? He can't because he's also the Formation Director and that isn't allowed? Well, it didn't say anything about that in the Ritual, how were we supposed to know?! And we've got him listed in the program as a Witness! Who'll be the other witness, then?

We're out of programs already?!

All right, I've put the text for the Welcome, the readings, and the Franciscan Litany of Saints up on the podium. Is it time to start now?

The Mass

Me: Hey, why is the congregation standing? I haven't read the Welcome yet, and y'all haven't processed in!

Brother D.: They're confused.

Me: Okaaaaay. I'll go up now and read the Welcome. [Hurrying to front of chapel while motioning for folks to sit back down.]

Read the Welcome (even though I was out of breath, managed to not sound like it. Go, me!) and then Mass was off to a good start. After that, I only had one other part in the Rite, which was to lead the congregation in the Franciscan Litany of Saints, which went OK ... though Fr. K. read a completely different "let us pray" ending from (all together now) what was in the program. And the music ensemble decided, on the fly, to sing a different hymn for the recessional. :::sigh:::

It really was a lovely Mass, and folks say it all went quite well; the Minister and I were just too frazzled to fully appreciate it. But, we're told it was great.

Oh, yeah, our Historian managed to set himself on fire while taking pictures -- backed into one of the altar candles. Was unharmed, but his shirt sported a Big Honkin' Hole on the back.

And there you have it. Just yer typical Comedy O' Controlled Chaos, otherwise known as A Franciscan-Run Event. :-P

Labels: franciscan, mass, sfo

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posted by Lisa, sfo | Permalink | 8 comments |links to this post

Worst. Franciscan. Ever. 

That would be me.

Seriously, there are oodles o' days where I feel like an Utter Franciscan Failure. I forget to pray when tempted. Fly off the handle. Let myself get sucked into a gossip-laden conversation with coworkers. Procrastinate. Get pathetically lazy about praying the Divine Office, which I'm obligated to do, and regularly reading our Rule. I could go on and on and on, but it's way too depressing.

I was reminded of my shortcomings yet again last week, when I suffered through a wretched meeting at work wherein I and my fellow writers were unexpectedly -- and undeservedly -- subjected to a BashFest. I don't do well in defending myself when folks start slamming me, in a meeting, in front of others, because I never see that kind of crap coming and am caught off-guard. (You'd think I'd learn.) I wouldn't do it to others, and so I never expect others to do it to me. But, it happens, and it happened Thursday.

I tried to defend myself and the other writers (who weren't present, btw) during the meeting, but could've done loads better. For the rest of the day, I was grumpy and upset, and it only got worse as time passed. When the workday was over and I finally walked through the front door, poor Husband Mike had to endure Lots Of Frustrated Yelling from me as I vented and complained. I can't remember the last time I've been so angry over something work-related, and I was actually feeling nauseous from it. I knew I had to Get Over It, but the more I tried to stop thinking about it, the more it filled my head.

And then we had to go to Mass, it being All Saints Day. Because of my bad mood, I snapped at Husband Mike over something trivial as we were leaving, which of course Ticked Him Off. On the drive there, I silently continued the struggle to Get Over It, and failed. Thanks to me, we were both grumpy and upset when we pulled into the parking lot.

Great way to head into Mass, I thought. A second later, I was smacked upside the head with sorrow. I apologized to Husband Mike over my behavior and Inability To Stop Thinking About Work. And he asked me, "Well, have you tried praying about it?"

Duh.

Of course, I hadn't. In fact, it hadn't even occurred to me to pray for help with getting past my livid-murderous-seethingness. Yet again, Lisa = Freakin' Dumbass Of A Franciscan.

During Mass, as we sang the Litany of the Saints for the Processional, I choked up over the refrain, "All you holy men and women / pray for us". Pray for us. Please, you holy men and women, pray for us. Pray for me. Pray that the Lord will help me overcome my stupidity, laziness, and anger, because I can't do it on my own. Jesus, have mercy on me, a sinner. Please, help me. You know I'm an idiot. Without You, I don't stand a chance.

Thank God for the Mass, and for the saints. Pray for us.

Labels: franciscan, mass, prayer, reflections, saints

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posted by Lisa, sfo | Permalink | 6 comments |links to this post