Abbott and Costello Pray the Rosary
Ah, the Rosary. A fragrant offering of prayer, an oasis of contemplation, and a sacrifice of praises to God.
Well, not always.
Some time ago, while Husband Mike and I were praying the Rosary together 'afore bed, we had the following exchange.
Background Note: I was suffering from a severe cold at the time that included coughing, a nonstop runny nose, and a Gigumbous Amount of postnasal drippage that had the unfortunate side effect of, ah ... triggering lots of burping. (Am I the only one who belches because of that? Please tell me I'm not alone.)
Husband Mike: "Hail Mary, full of grace, blessed art thou amongst women --"
Me: "Haaaaacccccckkkkkkk, cough, gasp, wheeze."
(sheepish look) "Sorry."
HM: "-- Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed --"
Me: (reaching for the tissues) "Hooooooooonnnnnnnnnk."
(pause, during which Husband Mike made an attempt to continue) "Hooooooonnnk."
HM: "Are you finished?"
Me: (nodding)Repeat preceding exchange several times throughout the decades, accompanied by a growing pile of tissues.HM: "... Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."
Me: (taking a breath before starting my part) "BRAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPP!"
After a split-second of shocked silence, we burst into laughter.
HM: "The Sorrowful Mysteries!"
(gasping) "We're supposed to be
meditating on Christ's
suffering and death!"
Me: "I know, I
know!"
We were both laughing so hard we were crying. Which, in my case, caused my nose to stuff up even more, triggering more honking and a flurry of tissues.
After several false starts, we pulled ourselves together and resumed praying. Then, into the last decade ...
HM: "... The fifth Sorrowful Mystery: Jesus is crucified and dies. Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."
(waiting for me to respond)Me: (lost in thought imagining the pain of the nails as they're pounded into Christ's hands)HM: (elbows my side)Me: (jumping) "What?!"
(lightbulb) "Oh! Give us this day our daily bread ..."
As we both burst into laughter again, Husband Mike wheezed, "Christ is
dying, here!"
"I KNOW! I was thinking about the nails!" I wailed. "Nails!"
101 Inspirational Stories of the Rosary-worthy, we are not.
Labels: family, marriage, prayer, rosary
Married bliss vignette #4,581
Me: (walking into room where Husband Mike's on the computer) "OK, my saddlebags an' I are heading out for a run."
Husband Mike: (eyeing said saddlebags) "Hey, are those like camel humps where they retain water for long periods of time?"
No, I didn't hit him.
* * *
Hey, so it's been ages since I last posted, and as you may have picked up in the vignette above, I've finally gotten back into runnin' and working out. (Have lost over 20 lbs. since the end of January, woohoo!) That means the bulk o' my free time has been spent doing aerobics, strength training, and runnin' (hope to do a 5k fun run in July), and less so with writing and fiddlin' around online.
Also, thanks to my pal,
Jasmine, when I
am on the 'puter, I've kinda' sorta' gotten addicted to playing
Bejeweled Blitz. (Curse you, Jasmine!
::shakes fist in air::) :-P Aaaand, quite frankly, I'm lazy. I've got plenty of posting ideas bouncin' around in my noggin, I'm just too lazy to cobble them all together into coherent posts here. Will try to be better about this, but no promises. :-D
Labels: family, marriage, running
Married bliss vignette #3,218
Me: (entering a room from which Husband Mike had just left) "Ewww! Hey! Why didn't you warn me about the cat puke in here?! I just stepped in it!"
Husband Mike: "What? What cat puke?"
(wanders back into room and examines the puke, which is more like spittle) "Oh, that's nothing. It's just a prelude to a hairball."
(moves around the room, looking in corners) "Ah!
Here's the hairball, over by this cord."
When joyfully making your wedding vows, you never imagine conversations like that in your future.
Labels: cats, family, marriage
Ten years of marriage!
[On the wedding night, Sarah] got up, and [she and Tobiah] started to pray and beg that deliverance might be theirs. He began with these words: "Blessed are you, O God of our fathers; praised be your name forever and ever. Let the heavens and all your creation praise you forever.
"You made Adam and you gave him his wife Eve to be his help and support; and from these two the human race descended. You said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone; let us make him a partner like himself.'
"Now, Lord, you know that I take this wife of mine not because of lust, but for a noble purpose. Call down your mercy on me and on her, and allow us to live together to a happy old age." (Tobit 8:57; the First Reading at our Wedding Mass)
Ten years ago today, Husband Mike and I were joined together in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony. Pretty astonishing to think that this makes a full decade ... 10 years' worth of serious and silly arguments. Sicknesses, surgeries, and stress. Scintillating conversations with topics like, "Why Are There Toenail Clippings All Over The Bathroom Floor?!", "It's Your Turn To Clean The Cat Litter", "What Do You Think, Are Those Leaves In That Hairball?", and "Wake Up, The Cat Just Puked In The Bed".
Silent treatments. Slapstick hilarity at 3 a.m. Funerals, weddings, baptisms, and First Communions. Anxious hours spent in emergency animal clinics with ill cats. Vacations, car purchases, joint tax refunds. Midnight pharmacy runs to soothe each others' coughing misery. Struggles to communicate. Lugging out the recyclables. Laundry. Snuggling close on cold nights.
Ten years ... what brought us this far, especially through the times of harrowing marital "dark nights of the soul"? The graces received from the Sacrament of Matrimony itself, obviously. But I also wonder if our
Papal Blessing (see above picture) played a part ...
Ten years ago, I had only recently moved out of my Raging-Feminist-I-Hate-The-Evil-Bad-Patriarchal-Church mindset and back into the faith as a (then, not now!) semi-cranky, Cafeteria Catholic. Why I took to the idea of having the Holy Father bless our wedding, I don't know; my history certainly didn't explain it. And nobody in either of our families had ever had or heard of them. All I know is that when I read about the blessings in some planning-your-Catholic-wedding-type book, I immediately knew we had to have one.
And so, after mailing off the form, and lots and lots of waiting, we got our blessing. Since then, not a day has passed without me looking at it hanging there on the wall and thinking (however briefly) about how our marriage has something more surrounding it than just our love.
Now, I know that the Holy Father didn't personally have us in mind with the blessing; I'm sure it was part of a general blessing to cover a multitude of occasions and people. Still, I suspect his pledge of "divine graces and protection" to us has counted for something.
Labels: family, marriage, reflections
Reason #157,984 why I love my husband
As Husband Mike will readily attest, I'm about as far away from an Early Bird as you could possibly get without leaving the Milky Way galaxy. Worms have never been threatened by me; heck, every morning they could dance a raucous conga line across my bed completely unscathed.
This means that I never get up early unless I absolutely, positively have to. Unfortunately, today was one of those days due to an early *%&$! meeting at the office.
Much bleary-eyed bumbling around ensued as I got ready this morning, but no major goofs -- didn't put my bra on backwards (yes, it's happened), avoided dribbling toothpaste down my shirt, and no cats were stepped on or tripped over.
So, when I arrived at the office, I congratulated myself on Successfully Arriving Early until I looked around the car and realized ... no purse.
I'd driven all the way to work without my purse, which contained my wallet, which meant that my driver's license within said wallet was at home.
I stomped up to my cubicle and immediately called Husband Mike.
Husband Mike: "Hello?"
Me: "Bring me my purse."
HM: "Uh ... what? I thought I saw you leave with it."
Me: "Nope, not in car. Forgot it."
HM: "You idiot."
He dutifully drove over to hand-deliver my purse, which (silver lining) gave me an excuse to end this morning's meeting a few minutes early. ("Oh, pardon me, my husband's in the lobby with my purse. Yeah, I forgot it.")
In the lobby, the receptionist smirked when Husband Mike held out my purse. My large, Bright Pink, plastered-with-a-kitten purse.
I love my husband.
Labels: family, marriage
Married bliss vignette
Last night, as we were settling in to sleep, The B began
kneading my stomach. Cats often knead as a way of expressing contentment, and The B's preferred spot is my stomach.
Husband Mike, watching The B's paws mooshing said stomach, observed, "It's like you're a gigantic stress ball toy. Only thing missing is your eyes bugging out."
Yeah. You know you're Way Long Past the newlywed stage when yer spouse says stuff like that.
Labels: cats, family, marriage, the b
